Being a Mommy...

So, it's hard to believe it, but Alex is already 10 weeks old. Our lives are completely different and yet so much the same and most importantly there is something about how Alex fits into our life that is just perfect. While his arrival might not have followed my perfect vision, I certainly wouldn't trade the end result for anything.

Things I know...
- We have changed lots of diapers
- We have washed countless loads of tiny clothes and diapers
- I have spent days of my life breastfeeding and pumping, literally days!
- We have spent hours walking, bouncing, dancing and wiggling around our house
- A smile or giggle from Alex immediately melts our hearts...

Things I still don't know...
- Why hiccups happen...
- How such a tiny thing can make such large noises and messes...
- When I will truly be recovered from my C-section
- How I will be able to survive missing out on all the little things that will happen when I am back at work...

I have cherished (almost) every moment I have had at home with Alex, and to any new mom who can I highly recommend taking as much time at home with your baby as you can. I didn't even feel like myself for at least 6 weeks and so it has just been the last few weeks I have really been out and about and enjoying mommy and Alex time.

I can't believe how much he is growing and changing every day and I am always wondering what he is thinking. Before I know it, he'll be telling me...and then I might wish I didn't know!! At any rate, our family is doing great and I am sure we will do fine transitioning me back to work and Alex to day care...but prayers for us starting the week of November 7th would be appreciated. I feel like if we get through the first week we will be ok!! :)

Thinking Deep Thoughts and Looking for Meaning...

I have found myself pretty introspective lately. I think it is a combination of the season of Lent and the impending new role of parent. It is amazing how having this little life growing inside of me can put everything in a completely different light than ever before. Suddenly every decision I make impacts more than just myself. I think it also make me realize how many things in my life could use some work. I guess that is where Lent comes in, as a Christian spending this time in preparation seems to well parallel the preparations I am and/or should be doing for the birth of our baby.

I think people who know me well would describe me more as spiritual than religious. I have always believed in a higher power and the concept of doing good for myself and others. I often am challened by some of the indoctrination that often seems to accompany organized religion. Not that I am saying I have it all right, but I am challenged to think ANY of us could possible have it ALL correct. I guess I will just keep striving to be the best person I can be, which will (hopefully) in turn, make me the best mother I can be.

Today I have been hung up on two songs. I guess they sort of illustrate my conflicted view between God and the secular. At any rate, both are great songs that I personally find have a lot of meaning to me. Maybe you'll enjoy them or find some meaning in them, as well.

"For Good" from Wicked
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrInbL9sh7U

Matt Maher's "Set Me As A Seal"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dy_TGOeESrw